Wings/ribs
- As you tenderly and sensuously remove meat from bones like a carnal metaphor, your face and shirt will probably also get covered in sweet, sweet juices. Exclusively eat ribs or wings with people who won’t care that your napkins are sopping up a barbecue murder scene.
- Remember that iconic scene from Blazing Saddles where the cowboys are sitting around the campfire, eating beans and farting? Yeah, skip the chili.
- Aside from taking your date to unlimited soup and salad at the Olive Garden (please someone take me for the anecdote alone), you shouldn’t be hitting up an Italian place on your first rendezvous. Half the point of going to those places is overeating the garlic bread at the beginning and slurping down pasta with plenty of sauce. Don’t disrupt the sanctity with an orderly and polite meal that doesn’t end in a carb-laden food coma.
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