If You Can’t Find a Spouse Who Supports Your Career, Stay Single
I was at a dinner with eight highly successful professional women
recently, ranging in age from 35 to 74. Their stories were typical of
research I have been conducting on dual-career couples.
This experience underlines the conclusion I’ve drawn from years of
research and experience: Professionally ambitious women really only have
two options when it comes to their personal partners — a
super-supportive partner or no partner at all. Anything in between ends
up being a morale- and career-sapping morass.
If your partner is not willing to engage, uninterested in “leaning in,”
and resistant to seeking help, you should ask yourself why. Just like at
work, it is interesting first to work on yourself. Understand your own
issues, the impact you have on others, the degree to which you are
creating the reaction you are struggling with. Consider working with a
therapist or coach. In the end, after you’ve figured yourself out, if
the relationship hasn’t improved, the question remains: What is keeping
you in this team? Are you staying out of love or fear?
(HBR.org)
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